the C word

for the benefit of more constant readers, i feel it necessary to make it clear that the voice behind this post isn't kaley this time (i realize that i am at best an intermittent contributor to this blog, but perhaps in a few weeks, that too will change). for the purposes of distinction, my posts will be distinguished by a refusal to follow standard rules of capitalization (and a penchant for parenthetical asides) - oh - and an affection for dashes that would make emily dickinson proud.

this morning, kaley arose from sleep (reluctantly as always), and, while i prepared our morning tea, attired herself for the day. but today was not a typical day - this morning, she is going to meet with a person to discuss getting some temporary employment at a nearby university. now, i know better than anyone that she's perfect for the job - the quality of kaley's thought, her commitment to her students, and her unflinching professionalism bear the hallmarks of the best academics that i have had the pleasure of meeting.

(and here's the but)

she came downstairs in an outfit that i disagreed with. the conversation went something like this:

"you can't wear that"

"but i like this"

"you look like the Little Mermaid heading to the gym. you should wear your tweedy skirt and a black top - now THAT says i am an academic. hire me or your students will be lost "

in the end, she went for the more subdued look and kissed me on her way out the door - all is well in the land of nas. but now i am feeling some misgivings. if it's true that she's got everything it takes to fill the post, what should it matter how she looks? and where did i get the idea that appearance makes a difference?

i know, i know - the clothes make the man (see above picture for proof [or disproof]) - but in an information society - and perhaps the university was an information society long before there was ever an internet - how much relevant data is encoded in our clothes?

in other words, why do i err on the side of (and here comes the C-word) Conservative attire in job situations? surely we have passed a point where one's appearance (as long as it remains hygienic) influences one's reception? my fear is that if we haven't transcended this outside = inside economy, then what do we do with those aspects of our appearance that aren't so easily changed? i 'mask' my baldness by shaving my head, but i can't do anything about being brown. and if i am participating in a visual economy (as i have clearly demonstrated through kaley this morning), then what's to stop others from making judgments based on the same, retinal, evidence? is there a difference between racism and sartorial snobbery (when pitched in these terms)?

obviously, i can't propose anything like an answer here - and i don't think there is one. but what ultimately fascinates me is my ability to hold increasingly divergent (and even contradictory) ideas simultaneously. when i finish this post and go out into the world, i am going to sidestep teens in tracksuits, avoid eye contact with anyone dressed in a uniform that connotes religious zeal (be they mormons or muslims); i will assume that the man in unwashed clothes has no money to clean them (or he would) and so give him charity - and i will assume that people who dress like me are my equals, even while aspiring to dress better than i do presently, all the while mouthing the nice liberal pap (while in the company of my peers) that "looks don't matter - it's what you are on the inside that counts".

but what this all amounts to is this: kaley - if ever i ask you to change your clothes again, remind me of this post (or just smack me).

update: kaley got the job. we should all rain congratulations upon her.